Part 3, the OTS Fellowship Night. So ok, another social challenge for me, probably the biggest one. But long story short, I was again proven wrong for having self-confidence related anxieties.
This community is probably the most welcoming group I have ever met. Despite my anxieties, I immediately felt like I belonged. So this makes me think, is this just because I finally found the right group of people or is it just because I didn't want to entertain those opportunities in the past due to my fears.
I had no choice but to volunteer to be the program host for the night, despite not being familiar with it as this was my first time to attend such as event. And my first time after so long to do public speaking. But thankfully, I was not that nervous to be honest and I attribute this to the training that Accenture had given me. I was always very self-conscious and shy when I was young, even when I was in higher education, but due to my job, I was forced to learn and honestly, I am pretty happy of the result. I felt more confident about myself over the years and a lot of the anxieties have gone away, I hope for good. I couldn't imagine myself doing this without my Accenture background. Of course, there were still some anxiousness at first, but knowing that I could do this with at least half an eye closed, I gained that courage to push forward.
I knew that I had to be prepared, I knew that I needed to ask for inputs from others, but when given little, I knew that I needed to just take a stand and incorporate my own style here and it wouldn't really matter. After all, we're all adults here, and not really newbies in a sense waiting for things to fall into your hands, despite being probees. The experiences that life has given me in the past brought me to where I am today and I'm glad and proud I did achieve something in the 5 decades of my life. This was definitely a major improvement in terms of personal development.
A side THOUGHT: speaking of asserting myself, when I assert myself due to this newfound confidence, there's a danger of appearing aggressive and arrogant to others especially when people don't understand you.
Lessons Learned:
- One can avoid projecting aggressiveness and arrogance by changing the communication style. For example, ask for feedback, or share your thoughts and apprehensions with others so that they understand your real intentions but last thing you should do is stay quiet and avoid this opportunity
So, how did my hosting go? Not perfect, but I think I was able to wing it, people did laugh at me and that makes for a more casual ambiance, it doesn't matter if they are laughing because of me or what. I also thank God that a live band was around, and actually drove the energy of the group and let me get away with our simple plan. Anyway, there's always a next time, when and where we can do better.
Lessons Learned:
- Get to know your audience, get feedback for your plans from someone who knows better, run through what you're thinking with them so that you can avoid being surprised
- Always prepare for backup activities
- Be game and learn how to dance and sing, even if not perfect
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