There are always these thoughts in my mind that I get so excited with a plan. In this instance, it's a plan to improve my photography and achieve my dream of being able to get recognition. In my mind, things seem so easy and maybe, just maybe I will be able to achieve this dream.
But then again, I have these feelings at certain times that I may just get my hopes up, and then just as situations in my life end up in disappointment.
Just like my love life. Several times, I get excited, I humble myself and surrender to God. I start to feel good about my dream, then days past and it's just gone. That dream just seem to fizzle out, I really don't know why!
And like my small business, I get excited, I work out a business plan, but then again, I only earn a bit despite my own thinking that I've been successful. But in reality, it's such a small win in the eyes of others. Is it just because I look down on my own success? Or I let other people's standards turn off my fire to easily.
I'm feeling like that again, after a month or so of this project. I hate to be disappointed again. Because honestly, I'm so tired that all my dreams just seem to fizzle out so easily. Am I not working hard enough? Am I so privileged that I feel I can be successful in this world too like others? Don't I deserve this?
